


it happened one night

by ka_na_ri_ya



Category: SBFIVE (Band)
Genre: Friendship/Love, Late Night Conversations, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28787502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ka_na_ri_ya/pseuds/ka_na_ri_ya
Summary: A small plate of cake is placed in front of him, “Chocolate cake for you, little master?”Copter’s breath stutters when he hears that familiar voice. He whips his head around to look up at the man behind him, “Kimmon?” he whispers, astonished, “You came?”Kimmon puts a finger in front of his mouth, his smile peeking out behind it, “Ssh! Don’t say my name so loud!” he bends down getting closer to Copter, placing an arm against the back of his chair, “I’m here to rescue you.”
Relationships: Copter Panuwat Kerdthongtavee/Kimmon Varodom Khemmonta
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title is taken from the 1934 movie of the same name starring clark gable and claudette colbert. 
> 
> disclaimer: this is a work of complete fiction. no offense is intended and does not reflect the real life people who are mentioned here. the only thing I own from this work are my words and the plot.

The venue is lavish and beautifully decorated with sweet smelling flowers in crystal vases that are placed meticulously throughout the room. Tawny lights hang from the high ceilings and illuminate a soft glow casting a lovely hue, making everyone look like they have a polished filter on their complexion. Classical, European music played by the small orchestral band flows through the cacophony of noise and laughter from the enthusiastic throng. 

But Copter is bored as fuck out of his mind and couldn’t be less impressed.

The fitted jacket and vest he wears is restrictive, forcing him to stand with his back ramrod straight as he was taught to. When he swallows, his tie chokes him further with how it uncomfortably sits at the base of his neck and he has to press his fingers to his thighs to not have them yank it off. It’d be unbecoming in a venue such as this. His dress shoes pinch his toes in the worst way possible and everytime he moves, pain would shoot through them; all he wants is to remove them all and lazily lay in bed in his boxers. He’s not sure how many times he’s smiled and greeted his parent’s business acquaintances. His face is sore and the muscles in the back of his head twinge and cheeks ache from faking his smile every few seconds at the unfamiliar faces.

“Hello!” his father enthusiastically greets to a couple that are walking by with hands outstretched towards them and Copter grimaces. How many people could his father possibly know? It’s like all of Bangkok is here. Copter tunes him out until he’s called and he feels his mother’s hand on his arm, as if pulling him back into reality. He smiles, the muscles on his face moving into position again, and steps forward, greeting them as if pleased to be here.

“This is our son,” his father’s hand is against his lower back, pushing him closer towards the refined woman that stands before them. 

“O! I haven’t seen him since he was so little. You’ve grown up to be so handsome,” she exclaims as she observes him. Copter isn’t sure how to take the compliment and quietly thanks her, “Are you still in university?”

“Yes, my last year.”

“Aah,” she turns to his father, a knowing smile gracing her face, “I’m assuming taking over your business later on?”

Copter’s mouth stiffens even further and the ache in his cheeks worsens. His father smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, and he swiftly moves on to ask about her family. The ache has spread to his chest and his throat is closing up, the need for relief deep in his bones. Copter turns to his mother and taps her shoulder, leaning into her ear, “I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Hm. Be back quickly. Dinner is starting soon.”

Squeezing her arm in thanks, he turns around in haste and navigates his way through the room, weaving around the various patrons and nearly stepping on the many elegant trains of their long dresses. He grits his teeth as he keeps walking, the agony in his feet is unbearable. The heavy scent of cologne and perfume stinks the air and he needs to get out, feeling his headache worsening. He eventually reaches the end of the room and pushes the heavy door open, clamoring out into the carpeted hallway.

Copter walks a few feet down before settling on one of the chaise lounges that line against the wall. He wants to remove his shoes for some relief, but knows how inappropriate it would look if anybody saw him so he leaves them on, trying to relax his feet as much as he can. The hallway is devoid of people other than the soft footsteps of the catering waiters moving in and out of the kitchen in the back. He can hear faint yelling from there, fading in and out as the door continues to close and open. Some of them offer polite greetings to him as they make haste in between the rooms. 

Needing to occupy himself with something to do, he takes out his phone. He’s aimlessly scrolling through his missed messages, before deciding to text the only person he can think of. A heavy sense of guilt burrows its way into his chest as he looks at the date when the last message between them was sent and types out his text.

> **_Me:_ ** Get me the fuck out of here please, I’m going insane. _Location sent._

After sending it, he pockets his phone back in his trim jacket and leans back against the sofa, taking a deep breath. He closes his eyes, trying to take in the few minutes of brief respite that he had by meditating. The tension he felt earlier is slightly fading, but he knows it’ll come back tenfold when he steps back in. The muffled melodies from the mini orchestra weave its way through the cracks of the closed doors and its soothing in its own way.

Some minutes pass and when Copter opens his eyes he notices more caterer waiters, looking quite haggard, coming through with appetizer dishes. He realizes that the dinner is starting and with a quiet groan, he tries to prepare himself mentally before heading back in. Copter pulls out his phone to see if he received a reply and saw none. Swiping to his texts, he could see his message was read and the annoyance gnaws at him.

“Fucker,” he mutters, gnawing his bottom lip. He puts his phone away into this pocket feeling miffed, before standing up and straightening his jacket. He can do this, it’s just a few more hours he tells himself as he heads back into the banquet room.

\--

“That was a rousing display of singing, please give her a huge round of applause!" the MC says with a boomin enthusiasm. The singer on the stage bows and leaves the stage, her dress sparkling under the stage lights as the audience claps for her, “And next we have a word from one of the sponsors of this event, please clap for Mr. An!” The music pounds from the speakers, near where Copter is sitting and politely clapping, as a portly man comes up onto the stage.

Copter is still bored out of his mind. Dinner was delicious, but the portion was incredibly small, so he’s still feeling hungry. The table he's at is empty, everyone having gone to the other tables to mingle and socialize. He could see his father making the rounds, boisterously laughing with his friends and business acquaintances. His mother was around somewhere probably socializing with her own group of friends. 

Some comedian comes on stage, hyping up the audience and Copter tunes the guy out. He takes out his phone from his jacket and sees a new message. He feels a swoop of excitement in his chest and unlocks his phone to see if it’s from him, but it’s from a classmate asking if he finished some assignment. It’s fine. It doesn’t stop the sudden disappointment.

A small plate of cake is placed in front of him, “Chocolate cake for you, little master?”

Copter’s breath stutters when he hears that familiar voice. He whip his head around to look up at the man behind him, “Kimmon?” he whispers, astonished. He kind of wants to cry, throat working as he swallows the sudden emotion that hits him, “You came?”

Kimmon puts a finger in front of his mouth, his smile peeking out behind it. Though the lights of the banquet hall were turned down since the performances started, Copter could make out Kimmon’s sparkling eyes and his face is a kaleidoscope of different colors from the stage lights as they flash across the room, “Ssh! Don’t say my name so loud!” he bends down getting closer to Copter, placing an arm against the back of his chair, “I’m here to rescue you.”

“I…” Copter’s stunned. He didn’t think Kimmon would actually come and had mostly sent the text out of frustration. At most, he figured Kimmon would respond with something silly to cheer him up, but since he never texted back Copter assumed he was being ignored. Copter wouldn't have blamed Kimmon if he was though, “Why didn’t you text me back?”

“I wanted to surprise you, duh.”

Copter peers closer at Kimmon and notices him wearing the catering uniform, including the bow tie. He looks incredibly rakish with the dress shirt and his hair pushed back, “Where did you get that?”

“Ah...I may have snuck into the kitchens and stole this to blend in. I don’t have anything fancy to fit in the crowd here. I don't look princely like you!”

Copter snorts and shakes his head, “Of course you would.”

“Hey, I didn’t get caught when I snuck in here. I think I have a pretty good career as a thief.” The smile on Kimmon’s face is smug and Copter bites his own lips from smiling back. 

“Please don’t do that.”

“You wouldn’t bail me out?”

“Of course I would. I just don’t think you’d survive prison.”

“Hmm…” Kimmon nods, giving him a contemplative look, “True. Anyways, you ready to go?” he straightens up.

“Yes please,” Copter looks around and sees his father’s back facing away from him, standing a few tables away and slapping the back of one of his friends, “Let’s just-- let’s go before my dad sees.”

He stands up and is about to walk out one way, but feels his hand being pulled back, “No, this way,” Kimmon whispers and flicks his head towards one of the further entrances to the banquet hall, “Less of a crowd over there.”

“O ok,” Copter follows Kimmon out, walking along the wall. He’s grateful that most of the main lights of the room are turned down so that he could leave inconspicuously. Kimmon pushes open the door and they both step out into the quiet hallway, a contrast to the loudness of the banquet room. Copter looks around, trying to make sense of the layout, “I think the entrance is that way.”

“Hold on, gotta get rid of this shirt,” Kimmon starts unbuttoning the stolen dress shirt, his rings glinting under the lights.

“O my god, get over here. Someone might see,” Copter pushes him to a discreet hall. Kimmon’s unbuttoning reveals his black t-shirt underneath and Copter could see the dark cord of his necklace standing stark against his pale neck. Kimmon bundles the dress shirt up and leaves it on one of the chairs, “Should be no big deal if I leave it here, you think?”

“They’ll figure it out it's theirs probably,” Copter starts moving from the hall, antsy to leave the venue, “Did you take your motorcycle here?” he asks as they walk together towards the extravagant entrance. Copter tries to act casual and confident, walking by some of the patrons that were mingling in the foyer.

“Yea, parked it a few blocks down.”

“Ok thank god, let's hurry.”

They walk out into the stifling humidity, but Copter is relieved to be out of there -- the outside feeling more freeing and he finds it easier to breathe. He desperately wants to remove his jacket however and hands over his phone to Kimmon before he removes the thick, metal buttons from their buttonholes. Kimmon stands there in silence and Copter senses his eyes roving up and down, as if they’re physically touching him. He glances up and Kimmon has an unreadable expression on his face that he can’t place.

“What? Is there something on me?” Copter feels a little self conscious and bare now that he removed his jacket and folds it over his arm.

“Mmm nothing,” Kimmon shakes his head and looks into his’s eyes, a soft smile on his face, “It’s just-- it's really good to see you.”

Copter isn’t sure what to say to that without spilling out a million apologies and struggles to keep it in, “Yea…”

“Wanna go eat?” Kimmon asks, as if sensing the anxiety under Copter’s skin, changing the subject quickly.

“Fuck, I’m starving," Copter stops when his shoes pinch his feet and a jolt of sudden pain strikes up the soles. He nearly trips, but he makes a grab for Kimmon’s arm before he can and leans his whole weight against him. Copter looks up at him with a wince and grimaces.

“Copter!” Kimmon’s eyes are wide and he curls a hand around Copter’s waist, his voice in a panic, “What’s wrong?”

“Um. We need to stop by somewhere. I need to buy some sandals or something. These shoes are fucking killing me,” he gives Kimmon a pout and he knows he looks pitiful.

Kimmon laughs in relief, “Aw, ok let me--” and puts an arm over Copter's shoulder, carrying a little of his weight off his feet as they walk down the sidewalk.

\--

Copter inhales the soup and noodles, shovelling them in with his chopsticks, not giving a care in the world at how rude he looks as he slurps it up. The atmosphere of the restaurant is loud, filled with conversations of people trying to talk over one another and coupled with the noisy, heavy traffic outside. It’s a different kind of loud from the party he was just at and he loves it. Smoke from the cooking area and cigarettes dangling from fingers float and choke in the air around them, “Man, dinner must have been shit,” Kimmon remarks, his fingers drumming against the metal table, chin leaning against the other hand. Copter looks up at him to see a concerned look on his face. 

“Nah, it was good. Just mmm...not enough,” he puts his chopsticks down with a loud clang and lifts the bowl up to his face, swallowing down the savory soup. The heat of it warms up his face and he puts the bowl back down onto the table with a satisfied sigh. He makes a loud “Ah!” smacking his lips together.

"You good?" Kimmon asks with a small smile.

Copter lightly burps, "Fantastic. You sure you’re not hungry? ‘S really good," he grabs for the toilet roll, ripping a few pieces off and wipes the grease from his mouth.

“I’m fine. Had a big dinner earlier,” Kimmon fiddles with the chopsticks in the cup besides them, moving the tips of the chopsticks around. He looks back up at Copter, a nervous look in his eyes, “You have school tomorrow?”

“No,” Copter purses his lips to the side, thinking of his schedule, “Umm...I do have to go to a company meeting though with my dad in the afternoon. Ugh, not looking forward to it.”

“Ah, so…” Kimmon leans in, “We have the whole night and morning together?”

Copter nods.

“Let’s make a night out of it, hang out like we used to back then,” Kimmon says so quietly under the din of the restaurant that Copter has to move in a little closer to hear him. He’s chewing on his bottom lip and snaps his gaze towards Copter with an unsure look, "But only if you want to though.”

“I- yea, yea I wanna.”

“Ok,” Kimmon sags, like he had been holding his breath, and his smile widens. Copter’s heart beats fast at how happy he looks and there’s a flicker of guilt in his chest, “What do you want to do?” there’s an eagerness in his voice, but he’s trying to keep it subdued.

Copter stares at his empty bowl, “Eat more to be honest.”

\--

“So she was out in the lobby talking to the hotel manager right and he was out there naked running around without his robe looking for the hot spring, but since he couldn’t read any of the kanji--” 

Copter guffaws with laughter, “O my god, no.” 

“I’m serious!” Kimmon hits Copter’s shoulder, nearly knocking his chicken satay out of his hand, “Oi!” 

“O shi- sorry. Then she was all ‘O please, I hope that isn’t John from my tour group. Please please please.' So she came running after him asking what did he think he was doing. And he said, ‘But Miharu! You told me that we had to be naked for the hot spring!’ and she said, ‘At the hot spring John! At the hot spring!’” Kimmon pauses his story to take a bite of his satay, “O! Then some other guy brought in a plastic bottle to put his dick in, so nobody would see it right? Cause he was shy. But like the bath is over 40 degrees.” 

Copter gasps, shoving a hand to Kimmon’s shoulder, "O no.” 

“O yes. He cooked his penis,” Kimmon breaks off into laughter at the memory, “I’ve never seen anyone so spooked before. Our guide had to remove it for him and he was in so much pain walking around for days,” Copter cackles, “O god.”

Kimmon grabs a napkin from his lap to wipe the oil around his mouth, “It was pretty ridiculous.”

“Your trip sounds so nice. I’m glad you went,” Copter looks down at his skewer, twirling it between his fingers, “Seems like you had an adventurous few months.”

“Mmm it was nice to be away from here for a bit. I’ll show you the pictures later,” Kimmon looks towards Copter, knocks his foot with his, “What about you?”

“Hmm?”

“How have you been? How are you?”

“I uh...busy. School and work you know, stuff....” he trails off and tries to occupy the silence between them by eating his last piece of satay. Kimmon knocks against him with his shoulder, "Yea, but I asked how you were."

Copter stares at the sandals on his feet, chewing as he thinks of what to say to him. He looks out to the road in front of them, watching the red and white headlights pass by. They’re sitting on a bench near the satay stand, a small crowd forming a longer line in front of it. The delectable smells and charcoal smoke from the grill is strong. 

There’s a bubble of laughter from the young college students standing around eating and chatting around them and Copter is a little envious at how carefree they seem, “I’ve been...it’s been good. I’m graduating soon. It’ll be exciting when that’s over,” he glances at Kimmon, offering a smile, “Hey, maybe I’ll take a vacation too when I’m done. You can join me.”

“Are you…” Kimmon’s eyebrows furrow, “Are you going to work for your father after?”

“Yea, what do you think?” 

Kimmon’s frown deepens, “I don’t know. You don’t seem to like it. I thought you were just working for him temporarily until you were done with school.”

“Are you happy at your job?” Copter asks, irritation blooming in his chest. The atmosphere between them turns tense and he feels antsy, like a string about to snap and sting him.

“Nobody is, but I enjoy what I do,” Kimmon looks away, “I’m just surprised you’re still going to go through with all of this. What about that time last year when you mentioned wanting to do music? You’re still young you know. You could still chan-”

“You know what my dad’s like,” Copter snaps his wooden skewer in half between his hands and wants to toss it into the river.

“But...you’re miserable. You left some big party without telling your parents. You can def-”

“That’s different. It’s just one night and I’ll probably get shit for it when I go home," Copter retorts, "I live with them. You’re just...you don’t understand what it’s like living there.”

“Copter,” Kimmon’s voice is subdued and Copter’s heart aches at the forlornness behind it, “I don’t want to argue with you. Please.”

“Ok, so...s-so I don’t want to talk about it or think about anything relating to my dad tonight. Alright? Just drop it,” his voice is shaking as he cards his fingers through his hair. Even though it’s a warm evening, he feels cold all the sudden and wants to put his jacket on, but he left it in the seat of Kimmon’s motorcycle. He hates getting into any type of confrontation and this isn’t what he wants from this night, especially when they haven’t seen each other in a while.

Kimmon sighs, his shoulders drooping, “I’m sorry. I’ll stop talking about it,” Copter nods, trying to calm down. There’s a heavy lump in his throat that’s aching. He’s scared that he’s ruined the night with his moodiness and tries to think of something to liven it up again. But nothing comes to mind and Copter wonders if he should ask for Kimmon to take him home.

He peeks over at Kimmon who is staring down at the ground downcast and chewing on his last satay piece. Suddenly he jerks up and he turns to Copter, his eyes lit up in excitement and Copter’s taken aback by the sudden change in his mood. Kimmon reaches over, his hand jostling Copter’s shoulder and his smile is beaming. 

“Hey, I have an idea. I know where to take you next.”

“Where?”

“It’s a surprise, come on. Let’s go before it closes,” Kimmon stands up from the bench and grabs for Copter’s trash, “Hurry!”

\--

An old song from the 60s is playing over the store speakers, the singer crooning and cooing to the listener to “jump, jump” with her syrupy voice. Copter smiles as he listens to it and the funky go go music makes him feel light as he taps his feet to the beat. He flips through the rows of plastic covered CDs with nimble fingers as they clack loudly against each other. He’s not sure what he’s looking for

The bricked walls and layout of the record store still smells and looks the same as it did a couple years ago when Copter first met Kimmon here. 

He had skipped class that morning from university, feeling overwhelmed by the workload of his classes and the vicious fight he had gotten in with his father the night before left him feeling a little empty. So, he had taken the train and bus that took him far away enough from home, not wanting to be anywhere near it. Walking into the record store was a haven for Copter when he came across it. 

While browsing through the racks excitedly and collecting a bunch of old CDs into his basket, Kimmon had casually walked up to him, with a serious look on his face. He asked if Copter was running truant. Copter had been taken aback and as someone who normally followed the rules, he had started stuttering over his answer until Kimmon laughed and told him to “chill out. I won’t tell.” Kimmon helped him out with choosing some albums, describing some of the things he liked about each one, before dragging him out to eat at one of the nearby coffee shops. It was the start of their friendship and Copter had been grateful for breaking the rules that day.

Copter turns around to look for Kimmon.

He’s a few feet away, pulling out vinyl after vinyl, the sounds of the sleeves rubbing against each other. He suddenly stops as he pulls the next one out and stares at it, letting out a loud gasp, “Hey, Copter. Copter, come here!” he waves his hand at him. Copter walks over, sandals scuffling along the floor, curious at what made Kimmon so eager.

“Isn’t this one of Jaran Manophet’s albums from the 80s?” Kimmon pulls the vinyl out and lays it flat on top of the stack, “Holy shit. I think it’s the first press too!”

“O whoa. Wow I can’t believe nobody’s bought this,” Copter touches the front of it reverently. The singer is stoically looking to his right, sitting in front of a tree of yellow orchids; the crinkled corners and yellowed edges of the vinyl album showing its age, “Wonder how much it is.”

Kimmon turns it over and winces at the price tag that’s written on the sticker, “Something I can’t afford. Ah, let me go ask the seller if we can listen to it in the back room. I’ll be right back,” he steps away, tapping his hand on Copter’s shoulder, “Watch it for me!”

Copter flips the album over and notes the price. He could afford this even though it was pretty pricey for an album. He drums his fingers against the cover, staring at the profile of the singer.

“Oi, the seller said we could listen to it in the back. He’s setting up the record player for us right now,” Kimmon says in a hurried voice, grabbing the album with both hands carefully, “Come on, let’s go hear some magic, man.”

Copter smiles blithely at Kimmon’s visible excitement and ambles over to the room where the seller greets him, moving out of the way to allow Copter in. The door closes behind Copter, muffling out the music that’s playing in the store. He sees Kimmon taking out the vinyl slowly out of its sleeve before placing it on the record player.

“You ready to hear one of the greatest singers to come out of our country?”

Copter sits on the carpeted floor of the cramped room, wrapping his arms around his bent knees, “Play away.”

Kimmon smiles eagerly at him and places the needle in the middle of the record, “I want to hear this song first," The record makes a crackling sound that's comforting to Copter's ears and he sighs, ready to hear what song Kimmon chose. 

The familiar soft melody of the rock guitar and percussions fill the room, then the singer croons in, _“I want to go back to the evening we repeated our vows._ "

Kimmon sits next to Copter, leaning against the wall with a sigh, “I love this song,” he says wistfully.

“ _Walk your path and don’t be afraid of those who would obstruct you. You have the sun, shining golden rays of light -_ -”

Copter closes his eyes and leans against the wall too, until his shoulder is next to Kimmon’s. He can feel the heat from where they’re pressed together, “Me too.”

Kimmon’s fingers hesitantly reach out to his hand, the tips of them stroking his knuckles, before gripping onto it firmly. Copter tenses, his heart stuttering and hand slightly trembling, but Kimmon’s thumb strokes along Copter’s hand slowly and he calms down. He finds himself leaning against Kimmon’s firm shoulder, eyes still closed and letting the quiet blues melody wash over him. He can hear and feel the vibrations of Kimmon’s gentle singing to the song against him.

His eyes slowly open when he feels Kimmon stroke his hair, but closes it again. The constant caress and Kimmon’s warmth that leeches into his body hastens his sleepiness. 

\--

“-ter, Copter wake up.”

Copter opens his eyes slowly rubbing them and realizes he’s still leaning against Kimmon, “Hey, how long was I out?” He sits up and he feels Kimmon’s hand fall away from his hair.

“Not long, just until the end of the album,” Kimmon tilts his head, scrutinizing Copter closely, “You were out fast though. I could drop you off at home.”

“No, no. I don’t want to,” Copter says, sitting up straighter, “I’m fine. That was a power nap anyways. I’m wide awake now.”

“You sure?”

“Please. I’m fine, see?” Copter widens his eyes to show how awake he is. He really doesn’t want the night to end so soon, especially when it’s been so long since they hung out together. Kimmon chuckles and pats a hand to Copter's cheek before standing up “Ok well, I’m in the mood to go to a bar. That ok?”

“Ok,” Copter stands up also, brushing his dress pants as he does so.

“I’m just gonna go to the bathroom real quick, meet you out in the front alright?” Kimmon has his hand on the doorknob as he turns to look at Copter, waiting for his answer. His hair is a bit disarrayed on one side, from leaning his head against Copter's, and Copter longs to reach out to fix it.

“O- o yea. Ok I’ll see you.”

He leaves the room and Copter turns to look at the record player.

\--

“O my god, the guy in front of me? I’m pretty sure was taking a number two in the toilet,” Kimmon rambles as he runs out of the record store, “Sorry for taking so long.”

Copter turns to look at him, turning away from watching the motorcycles driving by on the street before them, “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

Kimmon stops and looks down at the plastic bag in Copter’s hand, “O? Did you get something for yourself after all?”

Copter hesitates, fingers twisting the handles of the bag nervously, the plastic digging hard into his skin, “I um...n-no not really. It’s uh...for you?”

“For me?” 

“Yea? Yes,” Copter affirms and holds the bag out far from him, as if it’s a bomb. Kimmon takes it away, a soft look on his face and peers into it, the bag rustling as he opens it to see the vinyl album they were listening to minutes ago.

There’s a beat of silence.

Copter knew this was a terrible idea. He should go return it. 

“O my god.”

“I…”

Kimmon looks up, astonished, “Copter, this is really expensive!”

“I-- I know. I just, I wanted to get it for you. You looked so happy when you saw it,” Copter rushes out, “I could always return it.”

Kimmon blinks at a rapid pace and Copter isn’t sure if he’s trying not to cry. In all the time he’s known him, he’s never seen Kimmon even tear up. Kimmon looks down at the album again in awe and back up at Copter. His demeanor is suddenly shy, the corner of his mouth tilting up as he looks into Copter’s eyes. He pulls the bag closer to him, as if scared it'd disappear from him, “Thank you Copter. You didn’t have to. I really love it, I do.”

“I kind of did though. It’s a thank you for tonight and just being there for me. Tolerating my bullshit. And I’m s--” Copter is interrupted when Kimmon suddenly hugs him, his warmth enveloping him. 

“Copter,” Kimmon’s voice is so soft. The heat of his breath brushes against Copter’s ear and he tries to slow the frantic skipping of his heartbeat. But it's hard to when Kimmon’s against him and every point on his body feels like it's on fire. The scent of Kimmon’s cologne is light but permeates Copter’s nose and he wants to bury himself in there, “Copter, you know you don’t need to buy things to keep me around right? I’ll still be here for you even when you stop talking to me for years.”

Copter nods, unable to say anything, feeling overcome with emotion and remorse. He wraps an arm around Kimmon’s waist tightly. Kimmon pulls away, putting his hands onto Copter’s shoulders and looking at him, “O, Copter,” Kimmons says mournfully as he looks at Copter, who knows his eyes are probably teary. He squeezes Copter’s cheek, until Copter laughs and pushes his hand away. He brings his hand back to poke at Copter’s dimple, “That’s better,” Copter smiles wider in response and Kimmon smiles slowly back.

“Let’s keep the night going yea?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Song in the record store: Viparat Piengsuwan - Yok Yok](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eE5F3tsIf-Q)  
> [Song they listened to: Jaran Manopet - The prize goes to the dreamer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DViT9ABJCLU) | [English translation](https://musicofthaifreedom.com/prize-to-the-dreamer/)


	2. Chapter 2

"Ok, so the bartender recommended this cocktail," Kimmon places two large brass bowls, onto the small wooden table top with a thunk, "She said it has rum and butterfly pea juice. And some other fruit I forgot the name of. It's pretty though, see?"

Copter peers into the dark blue liquid, that's topped with a mint leaf, "Yea it is. What's it called?"

"Love potion," Kimmon says nonchalantly as he holds up the bowl. Copter's cheeks turn warm at this and he reaches over to grab his drink, "Cheers," they both tap the bowls together, before taking sips out of the bowls. The subtle sweet taste of the rum and fruit floods his tongue and the sweetness is balanced by the woodiness of the juice, leaving behind an interesting aftertaste in his mouth.

"O that's...huh...that's something," Kimmon smacks his lips together. The crowd downstairs whoops with applause at the Thai instrumental band that just finished playing their song. Copter glances down and leans over the railing for a bit, smiling down at the excited crowd below. "This place is pretty cool, how did you hear about it?"

Kimmon grabs a handful of cashew nuts from the snack bowl between them, breaking them in half with his nimble fingers over a napkin, "To be honest, I got lost," Copter snorts.

"Seriously! I was trying to find another bar, but there was this cat sleeping in front of this one. I was petting it before I realized what I was standing in front of. The cat belongs to the bar, I'm pretty sure," he frowns, chewing on some of the cashews, "We didn't see him tonight though. He usually sleeps in the bucket out front. It's kind of why I wanted to bring you here since I know you love cats."

Something in Copter’s heart twinges hearing that and he wraps his hands around the cup, "It's ok. Maybe when we leave, we'll run into him."

"Mmm..." Kimmon looks down, peering over the railing and watching the crowd below. The band starts up again, the folk music starting out muted before picking up louder and louder, "Copter look at that couple down there."

Copter turns his head towards the direction to where Kimmon had indicated. There's an elderly, foreign couple dancing to the music cheerfully, a little offbeat. They're being filmed by a few people nearby, waving and laughing at their camera phones, "Aaw, that's so sweet."

"Must be nice to travel the world when you get to that age with someone you love."

He looks back at Kimmon, surprised, "You didn't like solo traveling?"

"O no, I loved it. Going on my own schedule was great. Just..." Kimmon leans on his hand, still staring down at the couple, "I would be standing at this beautiful location right? Snap some pictures and take in how gorgeous everything is. But then it would get underwhelming when there's no one to talk to. I think it would be nice to share that moment with someone," he muses as he continues to sip the drink, "Look at them. They're making these lovely memories together in a different country. They can talk about this later with their family and friends later," he swirls his cup around, staring at it contemplatively before looking back up at Copter, "And you know how lonely I get sometimes."

"But Kimmon you're so...you’re so outgoing. I've seen you make friends easily."

Kimmon shrugs it off and takes another sip of his drink, "I talked to a lot of people, but they leave to go to their next destination and I was alone most of the time unless I forced myself to go out. Didn't make any friends," he looks down at the table again, mouth pursed to the side, "And my English isn't great either."

"Your English is fine, don't say that."

"Well being in a foreign country where I can't speak the language just made it..." Kimmon waves a hand in the air trying to articulate his words, sighing as he does so, "I was standing there in Zhangjiajie right. Couldn't believe how unreal the landscape was before me. I went there in the morning and the fog was rolling in, so it looked like something out of a painting. It was incredible, Copter. But I remember thinking, 'Wow, I want to go home right now.'"

"Ah..."

"I'm not saying that solo travel is bad, it forced me out of my comfort zone which I liked. It felt amazing to live my travel dream, just... I realized it would have been nice to share those memories with someone," his tone is wistful and he's staring off at the empty space before, lost in his memories.

"Maybe next time I could go with you," Copter says, feeling a little bold from the cocktail.

"Hmm..." Kimmon tilts his head looking at Copter. His lips press together and he swallows visibly before taking in a deep breath, "I uh....I tried to contact you when I was in Japan."

"You did?" Copter is confused. The last contact between them was months ago, way before the period Kimmon had gone travelling.

"Yea, but I ended up not sending the text," Kimmon sighs and cards his fingers through his hair. The dull yellow lights that hang around them soften his face, "Y'know I texted you the night I first came to this bar. Wanted to tell you about the cat. Its coloring reminded me of your hair and the eyes too. Was going to send a pic of it to you to say it was you as a cat," he twists his mouth to the side and he looks back up at Copter. He slowly blinks, his dark eyes staring straight into Copter's soul as if searching for something, "You never responded though. Figured you were busy."

He's slightly drunk from what Copter could tell, having nearly drunk more than half of his cocktail. His eyes are still clear though. Copter's hand grips his cup tightly, its coldness numbing the tips of his fingers.

"Sor-- I'm sorry," he stammers out. It's like something is stuck in his throat.

"Copter, don't worry, I-"

"No, I-- I'm sorry for everything in general."

"Copter," Kimmon lifts Copter's hand from his tight hold around the cup and holds it with a gentle grip, his thumb lightly stroking the front side of his hand. The light is even dimmer now, throwing part of his face in the dark and his features look even sharper. There's a rueful look on his face, "I didn't bring that up to make you sad. I just want to understand what was going on with you. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. That was stupid of me," his voice goes quiet but it cuts through Copter's heart like a scream, “Fuck--”

Kimmon lets go of Copter's hand and picks up his own drink, guzzling it all down. Copter watches the long length of throat work. He puts the bowl back on the table and plays with the mint leaf that's now at the bottom of the cup, twirling it in circles. There’s a solemn tilt to his brow and Copter's about to apologize again, but Kimmon interrupts him, "Copter, really. I'm not mad at you. Not a-- Let's just move on from it."

"Ok, fine," Copter sniffs, rapidly blinking and stares down at his drink.

They both sit there, the silence turning a little awkward and stagnant. The soft instrumental music of the band and loud crowd fill the dead air between them.

Copter breathes out shakily and rakes his fingers through his hair, just for something to do. Feeling frazzled, he looks back at Kimmon, who is still just fiddling with the mint leaf in his cup. He looks so downcast and Copter doesn't like it. He wants the sparkle back in Kimmon's eyes.

"You know..." he starts, then stops and Kimmon looks up at him, "When you were getting drinks, I overheard the table behind us say the rooftop has dartboards. You wanna go up?"

\--

"Ooo, so close. Sooo close little master," Kimmon says benevolently, putting an arm around Copter's shoulders as they both stare at the dartboard ahead of them.

"Meh," Copter pouts. His darts are nowhere close to the center of the board, "Don't patronize me."

"Fine, you were terrible," Copter elbows him lightly in the chest and Kimmon laughs, letting his arm slip away from his shoulders and the warmth leaves. He heads over to collect the darts from the board and floor, while Copter takes another sip of his cocktail and he lingers his gaze on Kimmon. He's chatting away with a couple of people while collecting the darts, his smile bright and teasing.

The evening is still warm and the humidity clings to his face, so he tries to wipe away the thin layer of sweat on his forehead. The rooftop bar has lights strewn over them, leaving enough light for them to see around; people were taking selfies with their drinks, conversations smattered with laughter. There's a view of the city scape and the ongoing traffic is still congested despite the later hour.

Kimmon comes back with a handful of darts in the cup he's carrying and places it on the small tabletop of the bar height table between them.

"Alright, alright, alright...ready to get your ass kicked in round three?" Kimmon starts rubbing the palm of his hands together, a mischievous smile crossing his face.

"You're so corny," Copter grabs a dart and points the sharp end towards Kimmon, "But this time, you're going down."

"O yea?" Kimmon quirks an eyebrow up and down. Copter bursts out laughing at how ridiculous he looks, "Well I'm gonna-"

"Hey. Can we play with you guys?"

Startled at the interruption, they both turn to see a couple, a man and woman, standing before them.

"Uh..." Copter turns to Kimmon, giving him a shrug. He’s not sure where to go from here, still thrown off by it, but Kimmon looks back at them with a small smile, "Sure I guess."

"Great!" the woman says with enthusiasm, her white teeth gleaming under the lights, "I'm Ann, this is my husband--" she gestures to the burly man next to her, "I'm Tommy," he greets.

"O, I'm Kimmon and this is my friend Copter," "Hello," "Here you could put your drinks on the table.”

"Thank you," Ann turns to Tommy, saying something rapid in English that Copter can’t catch.

"Where are you from by the way? Your Thai is really good," Kimmon shifts their drinks a little bit to the side to make room for the new couple's drinks.

"O we were both born in Thailand. But we immigrated to America when we were kids. We haven't been back here in a while and figured it was time," Anna says as she places her drink onto the tabletop, "Sorry if we were interrupting something," she chews on her bottom lip, a sheepish look passing her face, "My mouth just opened before I realized you guys were deep in conversation."

"It's fine, the more the merrier," Kimmon gives her a kind smile, "Have you been enjoying your time back here?"

"Yea!" Tommy responds, waving a hand in the air, "Bangkok's changed so much since I came back last time, but we both still have a lot of family around the area. So it's been really nice to see them. We just got back from Pattaya actually."

"O! I haven't been there in a while," Kimmon turns to Copter, nudging him, "Hey, we should make a trip out of that. Surprised we haven't done it yet," Copter's so surprised at the sudden attention on him, he simply nods. The thought of going on a trip with Kimmon anywhere excites him.

"So should we split this by teams? There's only red and green darts here," Ann peers into the dart cup.

"Could be us against them hm?" Copter asks Kimmons

"Hmm...not sure if I want someone so terrible at this to be my partner."

"Oi!" Kimmon laughs at Copter's reaction, "It's ok, you don't have to be good at everything," he says in a patronizing tone, patting his back. Copter grumbles at him, shoving his arm away.

"O! Mixing it up, that could be fun," Ann claps her hands together excitedly and looks over at Copter with a wide grin, "Copter I'll be your partner, I'm really good. Trust me.”

"Ok, let's do that," Copter says loftily and sends a glare over at Kimmon before as he moves his bar chair closer to Ann, "Since my friend here has betrayed me."

Kimmon blows a kiss in response.

Tommy picks up a red dart, "I'll go first then? And then you guys go next."

Turns out, Ann and Tommy are quite competitive against each other, just as Copter and Kimmon were, which made what is supposed to be a simple dart game turn into a pretty intense game filled with taunts.

Copter's having a ridiculous amount of fun though. His cheeks ache in the best way from laughing too hard.

They're on round three -- Kimmon and Tommy won round one, with Ann and Copter winning round two. Ann wasn't kidding when she said she was good at the game and Copter had tried his best, even though she carried them to victory in the last round. The group decided this was going to be the last round, "the winning round," Kimmon announced dramatically. They didn't decide on what the prize should be other than agreeing "bragging rights." Kimmon had given Copter a smug smirk as he said this and Copter shoved a wet hand to Kimmon's face in return.

Kimmon is up, holding the last red dart in his hand. He's being silly about it, posing in the most exaggerated ways as possible, sticking his tongue out and holding one eye closed. He bends down as if analyzing the physics behind throwing his dart, humming as he does so. Tommy and Ann are drunk from both laughter and their drinks, cackling loudly at his antics. Copter jeers, his cheeks a bit warm from the alcohol, "Hurry up loser!"

Kimmon whips his head around, looking affronted, "Ahem, excuse you. I'm perfecting my last throw. There's a science behind this."

"Booo!"

Kimmon sticks out his tongue at him before turning around and throwing the dart smoothly. It hits pretty close to the bullseye, but not directly on it. Tommy and Kimmon yell in excitement, hugging each other as they jump up and down attracting the eyes of the crowd around them.

"Ok ok," Ann interjects, "You two weirdos haven't won yet, Copter still has to go."

"So basically we won then," Kimmon says cheekily. Copter scowls.

Ann hands Copter their last green dart, "Kick their asses,"' she says solemnly, "I've taught you everything you need to know."

Copter nods back, "Alright."

"And now Copter is up to the plate," Kimmon says in a hushed serious tone, his fist is up to his mouth as if it's a microphone. Copter turns back to give him an unimpressed look, "Really?" "In the last round," Kimmon continues on as if Copter didn't say anything at all, "He had completely missed the dartboard but it was fortunate that his teammate Ann managed to balance that loss out when she hit the bulls eye. Do you think he's up for the challenge Tommy?"

Copter tries to tune him out and holds the dart up, sticking his tongue out in concentration. He remembers Ann telling him that he had to not move too much, "Just be steady," she whispered to him as she was watching Tommy getting ready for his turn during one of the earlier games, "Throw the dart hard with some force, don't let it float so lightly," she demonstrates with a snap of her wrist, "And always, always follow through with your throw. Don't stop short of it and finish all the way ok? I'll show you when it's my turn."

He takes a deep breath, then throws the dart as Ann had shown him and it effortlessly sails through the air before hitting dead center, knocking Kimmon's dart off the board. Copter's so shocked, he doesn't even react at first because he doesn't believe what just happened and tilts his head in confusion. Ann squeals so loudly in excitement before turning to Tommy and yelling, pointing a manicured nail towards him, "In your face babe!"

There’s a pair or arms around him and he realizes it's Kimmon, who is cheering in a loud fervor, "O my god! Holy shit I can't believe you did it!" Kimmon wraps an arm around his shoulders, giving him a good shake looking down at him with a thrilled smile on his face, "You did so good!"

"That means I beat you didn't I?" Copter grins, feeling giddy himself.

"Huh, yea. Yea!" Kimmon laughs, hugging him tighter, "I'll get you a prize for doing so well."

Ann rushes forward to give him a quick hug, "What an amazing throw!"

Copter is bashful, blushing under her praise, "Nah, it was all because of you."

They’re all acting like he won the gold medal at the Olympics with how loud they are and other people around stare at them for a few brief seconds, wondering what the noise is all about before turning away. It’s ridiculous, but Copter hasn’t felt so lighthearted in such a while and lets himself be swept up in it.

"Nooo! It was you," Ann scolds and swats him lightly on the shoulder, "Kimmon tell him it was all him."

"Copter don't be so shy," Kimmon coos and pinches Copter's cheek.

"Hey thanks for letting us hang with you, this was a lot of fun," Tommy says from where he's still sitting, "We have to head back soon though unfortunately."

"O! O no you're right. Wait, I want a photo of us," Ann opens her purse getting her cellphone out, "We need to commemorate the night. And you two need to give me your contacts," she calls for the waiter who was walking by, asking if he could take a picture of them. The four of them huddle behind the bar table with wide smiles, the cityscape behind them and fairy lights glowing around them.

"Thank you so much," Ann says when the waiter hands her phone back, "Ah here, you two just write your numbers here," she slides her phone to Copter.

While Copter enters his information, Kimmon pulls his own phone out, "Do you mind taking a picture of me and Copter actually, Ann?"

"O yea, yea sure,” she makes a grab for it and takes a few steps back, "How do you want it?"

Kimmon waves a hand, "Just do whatever. Take a few of some candid ones too," he brings Copter closer to him, holding onto his shoulder. He doesn't know if it's due to the alcohol, but all the nerves in his body lights up, coming from that point of contact, and all he can focus on is the heat blooming from Kimmon's hand. The heat on his face is due to the alcohol, he reasons, but he knows it isn't. Ann tells them to get ready and they both pose for her, smiling into the camera, "Cute pose!" "Silly pose!" "O my god," Copter cackles at Kimmon's antics, unable to stop gazing over at him as he does different poses and faces -- his exuberance brightening up the air around him. Kimmon tickles the underside of Copter’s chin and he twists away, giggles falling from his mouth, "Ok. Ok last one."

Kimmon leans his head against Copter's with a big smile on his face, their cheeks brush against each other. Copter isn't even sure what expression he has on his face; he's too busy trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. He sincerely hopes that whatever he's feeling isn't going to show up in the picture and that neither of them notice.

"Aaaw, so sweet. Hey, make sure these look good," Ann gives Kimmon his phone back, before giving him a pointed look, "O and hey don't forget to give me your number."

"Ok, ok, thank you," Kimmon mutters, looking at the photos and a small smile graces his face as he goes through them, not showing them to Copter. He puts his phone away and as he starts typing in his information, Copter opts to walk over to the railing of the rooftop bar and observe the people around him. There’s a lot of drunk people all around from what he can see of the street below, falling into each other and loudly calling for their friends further away. Others are dancing, music loudly playing from other nearby opened bars and drinking their cares away. Sighing, he turns around to check on Kimmon. He notices Ann leaning in and whispering something to him -- a flash of surprise crossing his face and he’s murmuring something back to her. Copter's curious at what their conversation is about, but his attention is cut short when Tommy comes over.

Eventually it’s time for Ann and Tommy to leave, their departure just as quick and abrupt as their introduction. They say their goodbyes and arm hug them, "Keep in touch!" Ann says, waving as she walks away, "I'll send the pictures over later."

"And then there were two," Kimmon says breezily, looking at the couple walking away and disappearing into the crowd, "That was fun, wasn't it?"

"Yea."

"What are you in the mood for now?" Kimmon chucks him a smile, his eyes twinkle under the lights, as he leans against the railing and inches closer to Copter. Their arms brush and Copter's shoulder is on fire.

Copter stares back at Kimmon. He's happy to see him like this, lighting up the space around him, "I'm in the mood to just walk around. Wanna walk off the alcohol."

\--

A few of the stalls in the night market are still open as they walk down the narrow street. Copter could hear the raucous laughter from the bars and clubs that are open in the late hour, people spilling out of them silly drunk and throwing up in the dark alleys. Wrinkling his nose at that, he shifts closer to Kimmon.

"Mm! Look at this," Kimmon rushes forward to a wall, painted with elaborate street art. It's of a baby dressed in a white bunny suit with a third eye, its own eyes drooping in tiredness. Kimmon takes his phone out to snap some pictures, cooing over the artwork "So cute. I'm pretty sure I've seen this art online somewhere."

"Yea, it's Mardi," Copter walks up next to him to stare up at the baby, looking into the world-weary eyes. Their hands brush against each other. He flicks a gaze at Kimmon and sees a deep frown on his face. "I'm surprised you haven't seen this. Mardi's everywhere in the city."

"Ha? Copter, you know I don't know a lot about this sort of thing," Kimmon has a slight pout. Copter doesn't know how he could still look so charming with the ridiculous expression on his face.

He shrugs, looking away, "Well now you know."

Kimmon stares back up at the artwork, "What does it all mean you think?"

"The future."

"Huh," Kimmon tilts his head back to look at the entirety of the art, his neck elongated. He starts nodding as if he understands, but Copter knows he doesn't, "Deep."

Copter snorts and shoves at Kimmon's shoulder, "It's ok if you don't see it. The painting's cute."

"So cute!" Kimmon stares longer at the artwork, "But I think I get it...it's the eyes isn't it?"

"Maybe."

"Like you worry for its future and how fast everything is changing. Makes you want to care for it and hope everything goes alright."

"Yea."

Kimmon entangles his fingers through Copter's as they both stare at the piece before them a little longer. A sense of calm settles between them.

Eventually they continue on their way, Kimmon putting an arm around Copter as he points out the different graffiti and art they pass by. It's always amazed Copter how creative the people in this city are and how they put their frustrations and worries into these elaborate wall paintings -- fearless in how they express themselves. The night gets only darker as the city gets louder, revelry from the bars getting filled up more as they walk by them. They come across a still opened juice stall and Kimmon buys them both some cold juice, a soothing balm to deal with the muggy heat.

"Your prize for winning spectacularly, little master," Kimmon holds out the plastic bottle to Copter with a flourish. Copter can feel his mouth turn up as he shakes his head with a huff, "You're so weird," he grabs the bottle and opens the cap with a snap, "Someday you're going to have to stop with that nickname."

"I would, except I know you like it," Copter coughs in mid sip and Kimmon pats his back, chuckling. He takes a sip of his drink, walking a little ahead of Copter before turning around and taking slow backward steps. He has a serene look on his face and his eyes widen, “Ah!”

“What?”

Kimmon points down the alley to their right and Copter peers over. It’s slightly dark, with a few lights lit up on the wall in front of the homes. He’s not sure what Kimmon’s looking at because there’s nobody, but he looks down and sees a cat and dog walking together -- the cat brushing its body against the dog’s and the dog nuzzles its snout to its ear. Copter’s not sure what breed it is, but the dog is huge in comparison to the cat. He covers his mouth, trying to keep the squeal down from scaring them off. Kimmon, on the other hand, lets out a yell of surprise, "That's the cat!"

"Wait, what?"

"The one I said reminded me of you!"

Copter turns to stare at it. It's cleaning its belly, the pink tongue combing through the white and light brown fur. Its dog companion lies next to it, as if guarding it from any strangers, "No way, we're blocks away!"

"It freaking is!" Kimmon grumbles, taking his phone out of his pocket and swiping through it, “Look, see?”

Copter squints at the photo of a sleeping cat that Kimmon had taken. The color of the fur is the same, but with its eyes closed and face squished in between its paws, it’s hard to tell.

“I dunno.”

Kimmon harrumphs and takes a few steps forward before Copter drags him back, “What are you doing?”

“I want to pet them.”

“But. The dog--”

“It’s cute, don’t worry about it.”

Copter holds onto his hand, threading their fingers together and Kimmon almost trips backwards, “But um...what if it attacks you?”

“Aw,” Kimmon turns, patting a hand to Copter’s, “I have a way with dogs, don’t worry. Don't you want to see the cat?”

“Um,” he glances over and the cat is now lying on its side, nuzzling its face into the dog’s dark fur. His heart melts at the sweet sight of it and the dog licks the top of the cat’s head, before resting its head. Of course he does, who wouldn’t want to? Kimmon nudges him with his shoulder, sending him a teasing smile, “Hm? Hm hm hm? I know you want to.”

“Fine. Just um. If the dog so much as jumps up, I’m running out of here.”

Kimmon splays a hand across his chest and lets out an exagerrated gasp, “And you’d abandoned me? I’m too pretty to die!”

Copter snorts and pushes Kimmon ahead, “Come on, I want to see the cat.”

“Alright alright. Patience, little master.”

Kimmon doesn’t let go of his hand and moves forward, stepping into a shallow puddle and accidentally splashing stray droplets onto Copter’s dress pants. With Kimmon’s height towering over him, he can’t help but look up and watch how the light shines on the curve of his face to the long length of his neck. He curls his fingers tighter.

There’s an abrupt stop and Kimmon lets out a hum, “Aw. It’s like they’re on a date,” he coos. Copter steps around him and both animals are peering up at them with curious stares. The dog now has an arm around the cat’s body in a protective embrace, “They’re so cute,” Copter gasps out and rushes ahead to kneel next to them, all fear of the dog flying out of the window. Fortunately, they don’t react negatively to his sudden appearance and he could see why once he nears them.

He didn’t notice it earlier due to their distance, but there are identical collars around their necks -- their metal tags glinting under the lights, “I told you this cat isn’t the same one. The one you showed me had no collar.”

“Meh,” Kimmon squats down next to him and holds his hand out towards the dog, clicking his tongue against his teeth as he coaxes it closer. The dog leans forward to sniff at Kimmon’s long fingers and with its tongue wagging, it leaps ahead into his hand. He laughs with delight, flicking his gaze towards Copter as he continues to scratch its ears, “Told you. I’m brilliant.”

“It’s not like I wanted you to _die_ ,” Copter says and looks down to see the cat sitting up on its haunches, having been abruptly disturbed from when its companion moved. He’s sure there’s an expression of grumpiness on its face with how it stares back at him. Smiling, Copter brings his hand towards its nose and it sniffs for a few moments before rubbing its head against his palm. Its fur is silky soft, almost like satin, and Copter can’t help but dig his fingers into it. The cat seems to enjoy this, flopping onto its side and the vibrations beat against his palm.

“He loves you!” Kimmon exclaims and places his bottle down next to him, before reaching over to stroke a hand down the cat’s back, allowing him to pet at both animals. The purring intensifies and the dog also lays on its side.

“You don’t even know if it’s a boy.”

“Uh cause I have a way with animals, I know things. Also I’m older than you, just accept I’m wiser in all the ways.”

Copter laughs, shaking his head at Kimmon’s silliness. He twists his hand towards the tag, reading the engraved address there, “Seems they’re from one of the houses down this street. Guess their owners let them out then.”

“That’s a relief,” Kimmon murmurs and settles his chin on his bent knees, “Wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to them. What’s the cat’s name?”

“Hm, let’s see…” Copter flips the tag and flattens his mouth at the English lettering, “...Mini.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Copter grumbles, “Mini.”

There’s a shuffle and Kimmon leans his head over Copter’s shoulder, “O, that’s not like the mouse is it? It’s small--”

“Don’t you dare--”

“Like you!” Kimmon exclaims and his laughter tickles the hairs against Copter’s ears. He squirms a bit, attempting to dislodge him and turns his head away, “Hmph, I’m tall. I’m not a giant like you. You’re like that dog over there.”

“Well, I’m going to take that as a compliment, _little master_. This dog is adorable,” Kimmon whispers and pulls back, his warmth leeching away, “Let’s see what this dog’s name is-- ah! King! How fitting.”

The dog perks up at its name being called and wags it tongue. Kimmon lights up at this and starts calling its name over and over, raising the pitch of his voice, “Such a good doggie, who is the cutest doggie?” he keeps going, scratching his hands all over its furry head and making loud kissing sounds. Copter giggles at how similar their hyperactive energy is. He removes his hand from the cat, who by now has fallen asleep by the dog’s haunches, and takes out his phone to film the sweet image of Kimmon with them.

There’s something about the orange glow from the lights above them that color him golden and his smile only adds to it, making him luminous. After taking a few photos, Copter holds his phone in the air, not really looking at the screen anymore, but at the man before him.

He doesn’t know how was able to stay away from him for so long. For a strange moment, Kimmon looks like he doesn't belong in this world, as if he'd disappear in a flash or a burst of stars. Copter nearly drops his phone, the overwhelming rush of need to wrap his arms around Kimmon and keep him here in place.

Humming a tune, Kimmon notices Copter’s phone facing him and his smile widens, sending a wink over to him, “Make sure you got my good side.”

“Pfft,” Copter puts his phone on his lap, “You know all of you are good sides.

“Ha! O hey, give me your phone,” Kimmon outstretches his hand towards him, beckoning, “Your turn.”

Copter’s about to put up a protest, but he does want something from this moment in this dark alley, and hands it over. Kimmon, always the photographer between the two of them, shuffles back and bends forward to get the shot. He looks ridiculous with his squatting.

“Come on come on, smile down at the kitty, ah nice! You’re a natural model Copter.”

“O please,” Copter scratches the back of the cat’s ears, the purrs loud and strong.

“Shush, I know what I’m talking about,” Kimmon’s tongue is sticking out, his eyes concentrated on the screen and his fingers are swiping at something on it, “Alright, done!” He comes forward again, brushing his hand on top of the dog’s head, who by now is cuddled with its feline companion.

“We should go. We’re probably disturbing their sleep,” he quips. Copter stares down at the sleeping pair and the protective hold the dog has over the cat. His heart twinges a little at the sight.

“Yea, alright.”

After one last pat, they make their way out of the alley and Kimmon hands Copter his bottle of juice that he’d forgotten to retrieve. They continue walking in silence, avoiding the drun, boisterous crowds of people.

“You know…” Kimmon tosses his empty bottle into a garbage can, “I was serious earlier about going to Pattaya with you. We should go soon. How about this Saturday?"

"O!" There’s a surge of excitement, but then he remembers his upcoming schedule and a heavy feeling settles in his chest. Twisting the bottle in his hands, he looks at Kimmon with regret, "O wait, I can't. I think I have another company meeting. It's with some American one and we have to do it Friday their time."

"Hmmm...ok let's go now.”

"Now?" Copter stops in his tracks, the sandals scuffing against the concrete surface. Kimmon follows suit.

"Why not?," Kimmon has an amused tilt on his lips, "It's only a two hour drive, probably shorter on my bike. Night is kind of young."

It's really not.

"You're...you're actually serious?"

"Yea."

"But- but there's nothing open there right now!"

Kimmon languidly shrugs and sips on his drink, "Does it matter? I just want to go to the beach and hang out with you. Sit in the sand, play in the water for a bit. Think of it as the spontaneous vacation you can make before you graduate and join the adult world and start working full time with your dad."

Copter's silent, trying to weigh his options. The thought of what his future holds makes him feel exhausted and anxious, weighing him down. Running away from it doesn't hide the fact that he still has to go back home and face his parents. He's fucked either way if he goes home now or later.

"I just think it would be nice to watch the sunrise together there," Kimmon wraps a steady arm around Copter and pulls him in closer. Copter thinks he's being hypnotized by those velvety eyes, "I'll take you home in time don't worry. I have work too. What do you say?" he smiles as he asks.

"I do. I do want to be with you," Copter whispers.

"But um..." Kimmon chews on his bottom lip, "Don't feel forced though ok?" his thumb presses against his dimple.

"No, let's do it. I want to go."


	3. Chapter 3

The beach is calm. The waves slowly push into the shore followed by a soft sound of thunder against the sand, smoothing it out in a repetitive cycle. The moon is shining bright and hanging low, her white reflection casting a glow over them as they make their way across the beach. There's a light wind that breezes through, ruffling their hair and through the sand. Kimmon leaps into the air as he runs forward and the sand is kicked behind him, his laughter lost in the sound of the ocean.

They remove their sandals and walk along the edge of the water. Copter dips his foot into the white foam that curls around him. Shit, it's cold. He winces and takes a few steps back only to bump right into Kimmon who is splashing the water in front of him like he’s reverted to being a child, taking in delight of the sea.

After coaxing him that the water is too cold to play in, they climb onto the sand bank, throwing their sandals down next to them. Kimmon grins over at him and his eyes disappear into half moons. His laughter shoots through the night sky as he throws his head back and lays against the sand, sinking into it. Copter swears he can see the stars in Kimmon's eyes with how joyful he looks and a giddy feeling dances in his chest as he looks at Kimmon.

"This is amazing, isn't it?" Kimmon puts his hands behind his head, looking up at the night sky. He doesn't seem to care about the sand most likely getting under his clothes as he settles comfortably, "Knew this was a good idea."

Copter places his jacket on the sand, flattening it as much as possible and sits on it, hands on his bent knees as he watches the peaceful waves flowing in and out, "It's nice with nobody around."

There isn't anybody around for miles. It's just them and the moon.

Kimmon lets out a happy sigh, his eyes shining, "Yea. The stars are so clear out here even with the moon shining like this."

Copter looks up and takes in a sharp breath, "Wow. _Wow_."

"Yea."

It's remarkable. Despite the low light pollution on one side coming from the city behind them, the stars were clear as ever, multiple pinpoints shining brighter than it would be if Copter is in Bangkok. Copter's not sure how Kimmon found such an isolated beach here to see such a view like this, but he's grateful to see something awe inspiring.

He turns to look at Kimmon, only to find him staring back.

"Um...I..." Copter swallows, eyes wide, "I don't think I've seen anything like this before. Thank you for taking me here."

"Don't tell me you've never seen the stars," Kimmon says in astonishment, sitting up on his elbows slightly.

"I don't really bother looking up to be honest. 'S not like being in the city gives me this view. I'm inside a lot too, studying and working," Copter tilts his head, "I think the last time I looked up was...um..." he purses his lips to the side, "Huh, it's been a while."

"Well," Kimmon snaps his tongue and lays back down, "Here's your chance to take it all in before we head back."

They stare out in a long comfortable silence, Kimmon occasionally letting out small hums of some melody. His humming eventually fades out and Copter's sure he's fallen asleep as the minutes pass; he glances over and sees Kimmon's eyes closed. Even though he's laying less than a foot away from Copter, he's so far away in some dreamland and Copter wants to shake him awake, "Come back to me," he thinks.

As if sensing his gaze, Kimmon's eyes snap open and he looks back at Copter, who doesn't bother turning his head away. Kimmon's the first to break his stare and flicks his eyes above.

"This reminds me of the time I was camping up in Chiang Mai."

"Hm? How so?"

"The lights don't make it obvious here, but up there I saw the Milky Way," Kimmon pulls out a hand, waving it in front of him as if painting the galaxy before them and trying to reach out for it, "It was just this big white cloud of stars stretching across the sky," he brings his hand down, "I felt so small staring at it. Like all my problems went away and I realized that everything will be fine. What will be, will be."

"Really?" Copter traces his fingers through the sand. He looks over at Kimmon, who's still staring up at the stars, a contemplative look in his eyes. Copter scrunches the soft sand into his fist. His fingers ache.

Kimmon flicks a gaze at Copter, eyes dark and sharp, "Yea. Felt at peace with everything. Helped me let go a lot of some negative shit I was feeling," he looks back up, a small grin gracing his face, "Even though it's just stars, it wasn't boring either. There really is nothing like it. Just me and the sky and I felt like..." he pauses, licking his lips, "Felt like I was closer to the universe and so close to touching it."

"That sounds nice," Copter looks back up at the sky with a sigh, "You should take me there one day."

"Someday," Kimmon says wistfully, his voice carrying into the ocean breeze.

Copter leans his forehead against his knees, closing his eyes. Everything feels too much all of the sudden. He listens to the current moving in and out, a balm for how restless he's been feeling the past few months. For a moment, listening to the wind from the sea and the soft, rolling waves makes him feel one with everything around him. He thinks he can understand what Kimmon means.

Kimmon exhales loudly, cutting through the peace between them. There's a fleeting emotion that Copter hears, but can't decipher.

"I've missed you, you know," Kimmon mumbles, his honesty bleeding through, "I've missed this, hanging out and..." he trails off as if wanting Copter to fill in the blanks for him.

Copter missed this too. They had got on at the start when Kimmon approached him at the record store, forming an easy and uncomplicated friendship. Copter felt he could tell him anything from the moment Kimmon flashed his smile and told him he wouldn't tell anyone about him skipping school. Copter wonders when this dynamic changed.

But he knows when.

"The night you texted me..." Copter mutters into his knees.

"Mm?"

"I said the night you texted me," Copter says a little louder and straightens up to look down at Kimmon. Kimmon looks back at him with big eyes boring straight into his soul, "The last time you did. I want to tell you why I didn't..." he stops, trying to get his thoughts together.

The last text Kimmon had sent all those months ago simply stated, " _How are you?_ " and it had come after a few weeks of not talking, mostly on Copter's part. Their chat consisted of one sided texts coming from Kimmon. The night Copter received it, he had finished a business dinner with his father. He wasn't sure how to respond when he saw it, feeling overwhelmed from how exhausted he was. He had so much to say, but also nothing to say at all. Tired of his father, tired of the feelings that were rooted in his chest he found it a struggle to breathe. His feelings had been simmering over and he couldn't deal with it, so he had turned off his phone and gone to sleep.

He never answered and by the time he remembered it, a week had passed and it was too awkward to say anything.

Kimmon never texted again and a communication of silence fell between them.

Until tonight when Copter sent that distress signal.

He looks back out to the sea.

"I was feeling..." Copter swallows, breathing out shakily, "That night my dad was being, y'know, more intense than usual. I messed up when I was talking to one of his colleagues and he wasn't happy with it," He recalls the harsh words of disappointment and the feeling of loneliness that took over.

Kimmon doesn't say anything and reaches over to hold onto Copter's hand.

"And..." Copter chews on his lower lip, the swoop of nervousness building, "I don't know if you remember, but the last time we hung out. I slept over at your place."

Copter still remembers the smell of alcohol from Kimmon's breath against his cheek. How soft and pliant Kimmon was, hugging him close. Still recalls the secret, that he didn't dare think about on most days but in vino veritas and all that. Spilling out of him into the dark, falling on deaf ears.

"Yea, what about it?"

He hesitates. He's not sure where he's going with this. Tries to pull his hand away, but Kimmon holds on to it tighter.

"Copter."

"I know, I know," Copter tries to calm down, taking in a deep breath and figuring out what to say next. He coughs uncomfortably, "You know how...my parents didn't let me figure out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I just followed through with their plan, thinking it was fine, it was going to be ok and I didn't want them to be upset. I wanted them to be happy, you know? But this past year, working with my dad...it's been shit. So fucking shit," his hand is trembling and Kimmon comfortingly strokes his thumb along his hand, "A-and I'm so angry all the time. And tired. I'm so tired. I can't imagine doing this for the rest of my life feeling this way. I don't even give a shit about this company, I don't care. Then I start thinking, what would happen to the people that work there, do they lose their jobs if I give up? I feel like my entire life has been controlled by my parents and I have no autonomy. They'll support me financially as long as I follow them, but I never- I don't have their emotional support," he gulps, "And I feel so alone."

"O...o," Kimmon sits up, sand flying everywhere from his movements. He puts an arm around Copter's shoulder, drawing his head to his shoulder, and gives him a tight hug. Copter squeezes his eyes shut, breathing in deeply and grounds himself as Kimmon squeezes the back of his neck.

"I didn't know it got this bad," Kimmon murmurs into his hair.

"It's not...it doesn't get this bad. I could ignore it most of the time," Copter murmurs and brings a hand up to curl his fingers into Kimmon's shirt, "It just slowly built up this year, this resentment in me. I hate feeling like this."

"Copter you have to talk to them."

"No," Copter sighs out, pressing in further against Kimmon's shoulder. He hears him sigh and the slight frustration behind the sound. He elects to ignore it and concentrate on the soothing, repetitive motions of Kimmon's hand going up and down his back.

"You feeling better?" Kimmon asks after some time has passed.

"Mmm a little," Copter whispers. He opens his eyes to watch the stars still twinkling their glow above them. He remembers reading that the stars he sees are older than time itself, "I wonder where I would be if I did what I wanted. If I would keep feeling like this."

"You can't change the past, but you can still change your present."

"I just-- I feel like it's too late to even start over when I'm almost done with school-"

"Copter, you're only 22! And even so, no matter how old you are, it's never too late to start over."

"You think so?" voice small and muffled against Kimmon's shirt.

"We all have our own paths and even if it doesn't match with your parent's expectations or your peers' it's ok," he squeezes Copter's neck with a comforting grip, "You only have this one life, you should look after it."

"I know," Copter responds quietly, "It's not-- it's not easy..."

There's a snort, "No shit it's not. Life's supposed to be hard."

Copter pouts, letting out a disgruntled sound. Kimmon chuckles, threading his fingers through Copter's hair. He pulls back to look down at Copter, "Hey. I think you'll be fine no matter what decision you make. Remember what I just said? What will be will be."

"That's naive."

Kimmon shrugs and lets Copter go, "I guess. I don't know a whole lot, but I do know that when you really put your mind to something, you'll do it and give it your all. I think you could be bullheaded when you want to be. Like tonight when you decided to leave the party."

Copter rolls his eyes, "I ran away, you mean."

"Mm, no. I see it as you taking control for yourself," he looks out at the sea, "But under your father's pressure, you wilt under him. I'm not saying disobey him. In all the time I've known you, you've never talked to him directly about what you wanted did you?"

"You know I can't just say--"

"I didn't say it was going to be easy to talk about," Kimmon turns his head to look at Copter imploringly, "I don't think you're a coward, alright? But this is your life. You need to think about what you want, but don't be careless either," he purses his lips and a wry smile tilts his lips up, "You're lucky you have the finances to support you if you change your mind. Not everyone gets that."

"I don't know how when my parents control it," Copter frowns. Kimmon knocks a fist against his head, "Hey!"

"Just talk to them."

"You make it seem like that's so easy. They'll disown me," he rubs his forehead petulantly.

"I think if you sat down with them and truly talked to them from your heart, they'll listen."

Copter's tired, "Maybe." He doesn't want to think about it anymore.

A silence falls between them before Kimmon turns to Copter again, "So...what did you mean when you brought up the last time we hung out?"

"Ah..." the nervousness builds again. Copter looks down at the sand and chews on his lower lip, trying to brace himself. Kimmon patiently stares back at him when he glances over. His nonjudgmental gaze calms Copter down and he remembers why talking to him was so easy in the first place and all his nervousness slips away.

It'll be ok, he realizes.

"Kimmon, you're my favorite person."

His eyes widen and of course he's surprised. It's not everyday, someone is told that, Copter thinks to himself.

"I think the day I met you, you saved me," Kimmon looks troubled and opens his mouth to interrupt, "Not-not like that," Copter assures, "Just...meeting you was the best thing to happen to me and I'm so happy I ditched school to run into you. Do you remember that movie we watched? About a couple that kept missing each other by a few seconds? It stuck with me for months. What if my dad and I never fought the night before that made me not want to go to school the next day? What if I never got off at that bus stop and went somewhere else? What if I never made the choice to go to the record store? And I get terrified that we would have never met."

"Copter..." Kimmon's eyebrows furrow, "I don't-- I don't think there's a point in dwelling on that. We met. And it doesn't explain why you stopped talking to me. If you felt like that, why did you ignore my texts then?" he has an agitated look on his face, "That's...you're being unfair."

Copter's heart aches at how hurt Kimmon sounds, "I'm- I'm trying to explain. Please," Kimmon doesn't say anything. His gaze stares back expectedly, just waiting him out.

It'll be ok.

"I've never connected so fast with anyone in my life and from the moment I met you, I think a part of me already knew that I would fall in love with you. And I let it happen. But I was fine with it and accepted that someday you'll have someone you'll cherish and marry. As long as I was your friend," Copter swallows, clearing his arid throat.

"That night, I-- maybe it was the alcohol. Remember how we drank so much that night? I just-- I don't know...we were lying there and you were hugging me. Everything was a lot. I ended up telling you I was in love with you, but you fell asleep, which...," he lets out a dry laugh, "Of course that would happen. It was too much and hit me all at once. I was tired of it and realized it would never go anywhere, not with my life yea? Especially with my parents. I'm sorry I ignored you for so long," he continues, stammering, "I'm a coward and you say I'm not, but I am especially when it comes to this. I didn't want to face what could possibly happen, but I ended up pushing you away. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, but I did it anyways. I'm sorry."

Kimmon's expression remains blank and hard to read. He looks away from Copter and back out into the sea. He's silent for a long while and Copter wants to swallow back his words the longer the silence stretches, but a part of him is relieved. He thinks it's the bravest he's ever been.

"I was surprised when I got your text tonight," Kimmon finally says, though it's a quiet sound, "I thought I did something wrong."

The vice in Copter's chest constricts even harder, "No, no you didn't."

"I won't deny that I've been upset about you ignoring me. I um..." Kimmon pauses, bringing his hand up to his mouth, a pensive look in eyes before putting his hand on his lap and sighs, "I wrote a pretty awful text to you when I was out drinking with some coworkers, but my phone got taken away before I could send it. I'm not some perfect person you imagine me to be. I was angry for a long time. You're not the first friend to leave, but I didn't get why I was so mad and I-" he reaches out to hold onto Copter's hand, "I'm not mad anymore. I forgave you already a while ago when I sat under the stars. I told you I'll always be here for you."

Copter breaths out shakily, alleviated. Even though Kimmon had mentioned forgiving him earlier, to still forgive him after hearing Copter out is a relief. He wipes a lone tear that fell from his eye and smiles at Kimmon, "Thank you. I-- I'm here for you too, you know?" Kimmon gives a small smile at that, squeezing his hand back.

The sky by now is a rich purple, gradually lightening as the sun starts her slow rise. The tide is slowly rising, creeping in closer but they're a good distance away from the water.

"I...Copter. There's something else I still have to tell you," Kimmon murmurs, his smile fading away. There's a tension in his voice.

"Yea?" Kimmon looks almost devastated and Copter feels his stomach drop when he notices it.

"You have to know I love you too. You mean everything to me."

Copter's breath stops for a bit.

"But I'm moving away.”

Copter instantly sits further back, his hand pulling away from Kimmon's grip in shock. A cold shiver fizzles down his back and he shudders, "What? W-where? Up north or west?" he asks, desperately hoping that he means just a couple of hours away. He watches Kimmon slowly turn toward him. His eyes are big, a vulnerable look in them making him look young.

"I'm moving to America...for work," Kimmon whispers, but it might as well have been a scream with how that statement punches him in the chest.

Copter stares in disbelief.

Then suddenly bursts out into tears.

It's uncontrollable, the tears keep flowing and he can't breathe, choking on the sobs. It feels like someone had punched his insides, holding his lungs in a tight grip and ripping him apart. The regret that's rooted itself there grows even more and it's the worst thing he's ever felt, more than when his father yelled at him for not doing something right. He cries harder than he ever has, covering his mouth with his hand, feeling broken inside.

It feels like the world is ending.

He can hear Kimmon's panicked voice and feels himself being drawn into a hug.

"Copter, Copter..."

"Why? Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Copter chokes out, "I just got you back."

Kimmon hugs him tighter, his hand caressing Copter's back, "I'm sorry."

"I can't..." he hiccups a sob, "I need you."

"You don't."

"I do."

"Copter listen- Copter look at me. Breathe, breathe," Kimmon cradles his face up to look at him, attempting to wipe his tears away, "You've been fine without me this year. You're so strong, you’re the strongest person I know."

He starts shaking his head, "I wasn't though. I just told you I wasn't."

"Copter, oh Copter," Kimmon murmurs and hearing how he says his name makes Copter cry even harder. The weight of Kimmon's hands on his back is heavy and he curls in further to his chest. He clutches a trembling hand onto Kimmon's shirt, trying to get his breath back and attempting to think of anything to say. But his mouth is occupied with his sobs. He can barely hear Kimmon's calming voice against his ear, quietly telling him he'll be alright, breathe, breathe with me.

He cries until he's physically exhausted, unable to breathe out of his nose, his head and heart aching. He doesn't know how much time has passed, but he notices the sky is a brilliant pink and orange when he moves back away from Kimmon's warmth. His face feels swollen and warm as he attempts to wipe the tears away. Copter sees the tear stains on Kimmon's shirt and wants to cry all over again, but he looks back up at him.

"Is it...was it me? Did I do this?" his voice is aching and hoarse.

"No, absolutely not," Kimmon shakes his head and brings a hand up to Copter's face. It's warm and he clutches onto it, "I know it may seem like it since I decided this not long ago and I don't- I didn't have much waiting for me here besides my parents and brother," Copter's heart twinges at this, "But it's a good opportunity for me."

"When?"

"...Sunday."

Copter's face falls, his vision blurs from the tears, "K-Kimmon that's...Were you just going to leave without telling me? Would I never have found out if I didn't text you last night?"

"I-- I don't know. Copter, I can't answer that, I don't know."

"Fuck, Kimmon," Copter rasps out, closing his eyes. The pressure of Kimmon's thumb against his jawline presses even harder. Copter holds onto the hand against his face even tighter, "You said you'd be there for me," he says weakly.

Kimmon's quiet, looking back at him with sad eyes, "And I will. I may not be physically here or come to you easily. But I'm always here for you even if we don't talk for months," his expression turns soft, mouth pulled into a small smile, "We both fucked up communication wise this year, but I think we know to do better now right? To not let it get this way."

A tear falls from Copter's eye.

"How did we get our timing so wrong?"

"Don't see it that way," Kimmon softly says as he wipes the remnant of the tear away, "Don't see it as a missed chance. Let's see it as a time to grow into better people and maybe...maybe if we ever see each other again, we'll be the best version of ourselves. I know you'll be so amazing with whatever you choose to do. You're braver than you give yourself credit for," he quirks his lips up, "I never told you, but you make me want to be a better person."

Copter doesn't know what to say to that. It's not the most romantic thing, but it means the most to him. He looks long into Kimmon's eyes, the rays of the sun softly touching his face and Copter's breath is taken away but what he sees. He tightens his grip on Kimmon's hand against his cheek.

He nods.

"You make me want to be better too," he whispers back.

There's so much Copter wants to say, but he also has nothing to say at all.

"Are you-" Copter watches Kimmon's neck move as he swallows, his throat working, "You still drunk?"

Copter shakes his head, confused; it's obvious that he sobered up hours ago, "No."

Kimmon leans in closer, shuffling forward on his knees and tenderly caresses Copter's face. They stare at each other for what feels like an infinite amount of time.

"I..." Kimmon starts off hesitantly and quiets.

There's a flush high on Kimmon's cheeks, his teeth gnawing at this lower lip as he opens his mouth and shuts it again, indecisively. His eyes reveal his uncertainty and his gaze quickly flick down to Copter's lips then back up.

Copter tries to slow his frantic heartbeat, waiting him out. He doesn't trust his voice and keeps quiet as he realizes what's happening.

"Tell me if I'm reading this wrong."

Copter shakes his head, no no. Definitely not, how could Kimmon ever doubt it, "You're not," he whispers helplessly as Kimmon's thumb strokes his jaw. Kimmon leans his forehead against Copter's, eyelashes fluttering. Copter can't stop staring at the moles on his face, drawing him in and he yearns to press his mouth on them.

"If you don't want this, tell me to stop," Copter stops breathing as Kimmon tilts his head. He can't hear much else, the sounds of the waves fading out as his heartbeat gets louder and louder, drumming hard against his chest.

Then they're kissing.

Copter gasps, lifting his hands up to Kimmon's shoulders, bringing him closer until they are pressed together. It's like a light burst around him and it's everything Copter wanted, the warmth spreading from his soul to the points where Kimmon is gently cradling him. Kimmon's trembling hand winds through Copter's hair, tightly gripping the nape of his neck.

Everything feels golden. 


	4. Chapter 4

The soft soil and grass crumble under Copter's boots as he makes his way through the muddy trail. The fresh air is a contrast to the pollution that Copter's used to back home and he takes in deep breaths, appreciating each one.

He stops suddenly along the path as he takes in the view before him. The yellow golden colored terraces glow brilliantly under the setting sun and his breath is taken away at how the water from the rice fields seem to be filled with molten gold. It's quiet, the only sound is the wind and the occasional bird's chirp echoing through the sky. There aren't any farmers, most of them probably having gone home for dinner.

Copter snaps a few shots on his phone and even though they don't capture the true beauty of what he sees, he's fine with that. At least he got to see it. Copter's about to send one of the photos via text, but remembers there's no coverage out here. Sighing, he puts his phone away into his jacket. He looks out at the rice terraces, a feeling of longing filling him, then continues his way before losing more daylight.

Minutes later, Copter sees a sign pointing to the home stay he needs to go to. Relieved, he walks even quicker towards the straw roofed hut. He could make out other small metal sheeted buildings amongst the rice fields, their shiny roofs glinting under the fading sun. There's a small group of people sitting in a circle around a table, eating dinner and they all glance at him as he walks in quietly greeting them.

"O hello, you are?" a middle aged woman stands up from her seat, the plastic chair scuffing loudly against the concrete.

"Copter."

"O! We've been waiting for you," she smiles kindly, "I'm Mel," She's friendly and exudes a warmth that comforts Copter, calming his nerves on travelling by himself here. She looks behind him, a curious look on her face, "I thought there was going to be two of you?"

"Um- he might be running late. I think. His flight ran late and I haven't talked to him since he flew. I don't have any signal out here, so I'm not sure when my friend will arrive."

Mel nods in understanding, "I hope he comes soon before the roads become completely dark. There's no electricity out here," she points to the small light bulb above the table, "Well aside from this, but we have a tiny generator for that. Ah! You should eat dinner first. The drive from Chiang Mai's so long and you must be starving. I'll check you in later. You flew into Chiang Mai this morning didn't you?" she gives a gentle push on his back towards the table, "You manage to park alright?"

"Ah, yes I did fly in today and parking was fine. That'd be nice, thank you, hello, hello," he sits himself down on a plastic stool that someone had dragged out from the corner of the room. Copter places his backpack on the floor and looks at the group of people before him, watching them eat. 

There's an American couple quietly talking with their local guide and a group of four female college students chatting with each other loudly about some assignment. The dinner looks simple -- small plates of vegetables and a bigger bowl filled with some kind of beef soup. Mel comes out from the back, placing a clean bowl and spoon in front of him and urges him to eat. She scurries around the room to light up a few flashlight lanterns, brightening up the room.

The students excitedly greet him as soon as his eyes make contact with one of them and they introduce themselves.

"Where are you from?"

"Bangkok."

"Ooo, fancy guy," a girl slyly says, her glasses glinting from the lights flashing from the lanterns, "Which university do you go to then?"

"Ah, I already graduated years ago."

"What?" she exclaims. She tilts her head, "Wait, how old are you?"

"Um...28," he chews on a carrot, "I'll be 29 in a couple of months."

"You look very young," Mel interjects from behind and places a small glass of water next to him, "I thought you were at most in your early 20s."

Copter rubs his hand along his chin and jaw shyly, the feeling of his week old scruff scratching his palm, "Thank you," he murmurs back.

"So you're taking a vacation then?" the girl on his left asks.

"Yep, just taking time off from work," he smiles, "Haven't had a vacation in a while, so I kind of needed this."

"O, what's your job if you don't mind me asking?"

"Wait- I want to guess," another girl interjects, clapping her hands in enthusiasm and Copter smiles at that, "Well, you have some scruff and it looks way more than a few days old. And since you said you just started your vacation, I think you must be in a field that doesn't really frown on that sort of thing, so you could grow it out a bit at work. So, most definitely not a businessman or even a doctor. Not a totally respectable field that people may frown on maybe? Ah, no offense."

He smirks, taking a sip of water, "None taken. What else?"

She squints, tapping her finger against her lips, scrutinizing him further, "Well, you're wearing an earring."

Her friend with the glasses slaps a hand to her arm and scoffs, "Girl, everyone wears them. I'm sure in Bangkok, all the guys do."

"Ugh ok, well," she rolls her eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh, "Your hairstyle hmm..." and then leans forward with an intense stare at Copter, "I'm guessing you're probably an artist of some sort? I don't know what though, but my gut feeling says you're in the creative field. "

He smiles, "You're pretty close. I'm a music producer."

"Wait, that's so cool," she says in an astonishment.

"Ah! Have you made any songs that we probably know?"

"He's from Bangkok, of course we probably have!"

"Who have you worked with?"

The conversation rises in crescendo as they excitedly ask more questions and Copter can't help but laugh into his dinner.

\--

"So this is your room," Mel opens the wooden door and places the flashlight lantern on the ground, "It's not much, but I've made sure to keep it clean," The room is tiny, mattresses filling up the majority of the space and lined wall to wall. There's a green mosquito net hanging against one wall, covering the closed window shutters. The heavy smell of mothballs wafts into Copter's nose.

"It's perfect, thank you," Copter removes his shoes and steps in, the bamboo mat flooring smooth and cool under his feet. Mel moves around him, exiting the room and points further down the open hallway, "The terrace to see the view is over there. Do you need anything else?"

"Um...I think I'm fine."

She smiles, "Alright, well you know where to find me. Don't forget to come down for breakfast before you go exploring tomorrow."

Copter says good night to her and quietly shuts the door. He sits on the edge of the mattress, moving the small pillows out of the way.

Heaves out a huge sigh as he falls back on the bed. He closes his eyes, trying to relax. Copter feels exhausted from the long day of travel, but there's a thrum of anxiety and nervousness running under his skin. He can hear the faint sounds of the bugs flying around outside. It's peaceful. 

He glances at the time on his phone. It's late, but it's not too late. But with the lack of electricity, it makes it easy to simply go to bed for the night. He feels a little restless though and decides that it would be a good time to go out to the terrace.

Grabbing the flashlight lantern, he leaves his room and makes his way to the open terrace that Mel had mentioned. He had seen photos of it when he booked his accommodation, so he had an idea of what to expect, but the breathtaking night sky was not what he expected at all.

He shuts the light, putting it on the ground with a loud thunk and stares in awe at the sight before him. He eventually falls on his knees as his breath is taken away.

The clouds that had rolled in when he had come here earlier are gone and the sky brilliantly glows before him aided by the new moon; a blackness filled with infinite patterns of light. He's so used to the orange warm glow of the city lights and seeing the blackness here is startling. It's a different kind of blackness, a true darkness that somehow illuminates the stars even more. The stars twinkle and wink their ancient glow, unfiltered and shining from where they seem to be perfectly placed, as if destined to be there. There's bigger stars that glow so bright and others that are much smaller, adding to the beautiful night tapestry. It's hard to look away despite how monotonous it seems.

Copter finally understands what Kimmon meant by how small he felt all those years ago. He truly realizes how small and insignificant he is in this world, but at the same time he feels like he can do anything. There's an endless of possibilities. He lets out a shuddery breath, feeling a tear fall from his eye and wipes it away quickly.

The night sky at the beach is nothing compared to this.

Despite how beautiful it is though, he longs for Kimmon and wishes he's here by his side now more than ever. The yearning for him has waned and risen over time, but in this moment it's strong, pulling his heart out. He takes out his phone from his pocket, unlocking it to look at his home screen; it's one of the photos from their last night that Kimmon had sent to him before leaving the country. Kimmon's smiles brightly into the camera, his cheek right up against Copter's and he's smiling shyly at the camera, his cheeks pink from the alcohol they had consumed before.

He looked so young and so in love and Copter doesn't know how he thought he would've been able to live like that without confessing. Smiling at it, he locks his phone again and looks back up at the crystalline sky.

Copter recalls his sentiment on how he thought experiencing a beautiful moment is more appreciated with someone else. And it's true, as Copter stands there all he can think about is what he would say to Kimmon.

\--

Copter likes to think he's a deep sleeper and that he can sleep anywhere pretty easily without ever being disturbed.

He's pulled from his sleep as he hears the door to his room open, a bright light shining into the room. He hears a hushed murmur of voices before the door closes with a click and there's a shift on the mattress as someone sits on it. Copter slowly opens his eyes, heart beating at a rapid pace as he angles his head toward the end of the bed.

It's Kimmon.

Copter can't see his face, but he recognizes his back. He's rustling through his bag as quietly as he can, pulling out his pajamas.

"Kimmon?" he whispers shakily. Kimmon stiffens and turns around; the glow of the flashlight lanterns lights up behind him, giving him an ethereal glow and making him look unreal, like a spirit. He might as well have been. Copter isn't sure if Kimmon is actually there in front of him or a figment of his imagination. He swallows the ball of emotion that's stuck in his throat.

They haven't seen each other physically since Kimmon left and despite the occasional video chat over the years, seeing him right there sitting in front of him is vastly different. He still has his youthful features, but at the same time looks older than before. What has stayed the same though is how beautiful he is, "Kimmon..." he says again with more emotion and this time, he starts to tear up.

"Copter," Kimmon says in a hushed tone. He climbs onto the bed, shifting forward on his knees and envelopes Copter into a hug, who clutches him back. He's so warm, "Copter, I'm sorry I came so late."

"It's fine," Copter says,the tears falling, "I can't believe you're here with me."

Kimmon presses a kiss into his hair and moves back, cradling Copter's face with gentle hands, "I can't believe it either," they stare at each other longer, while Kimmon wipes his tears away. He gazes at him fondly, eyes flitting about as he observes him, "You look different. In a good way."

Copter lets out a shaky laugh, feeling Kimmon press a thumb against his dimple, "Yea?"

He smiles wider, "Yea. You look happy."

"Well, you're here."

Kimmon shakes his head, his eyes lighting up, "No, I think...you have a happy aura. It makes me happy to see you like this."

Copter can't handle how Kimmon is looking at him and hugs him again, breathing him in. There's a hand stroking his hair as he listens to Kimmon's breathing, knowing this is real. Sleepiness is descending on him again, but he tries his best to keep his eyes open. The warmth of Kimmon's body heat against him and his gentle caress doesn't help either.

"You think you might be ok to still go exploring tomorrow?" he murmurs, tiredness seeping into his voice.

"Mmm yea, I'll be fine," Kimmon starts to shift and Copter whimpers out, gripping his shirt, "Don't- stay with me."

"I will, I will."

It feels like a promise.


End file.
